"SHADOW"

It’s happening again

The torment

The agony

The pain

I feel it slowly creepin like the night sky

I hear it whisper 

I watch it slip into the dark

As it embraces a larger form

I’m not up for this fight

Not a third time

I’ll lose this before it begins

Like I lost the last two

It’s hard, living with this “thing”

It’s indescribable,

It’s uncontrollable,

But more so, I don’t know what it is 

This time, I have no will to fight,

My heart aches with the darkest of echoes ,

It beats more shallow than ever,

It’s light has never been so low,

I feel out of place

I feel unwelcome

In this body, in this state of mind,

In this life

I don’t belong here

I can’t continue like this

Barely surviving 

Constantly enduring pain

You don’t know the feeling

Anger, hate, revenge;

All I seek

To fill this ever desirable hole

I feed it, I give in, I cave

Time and time again

It only gets bigger

It only gets worse

I feel it’s pain ever so fully

Knees to the ground; 

Heart clenched

As I struggle to gasp for air

My heartbeat paces

As I watch the light fade from my eyes

I slowly cease to breathe

My eyelids gently fall asleep

Moments later, I stand

As if nothing happened;

I gain full consciousness

As I stare at my reflection

The pain makes me want to give it all up

But the pain keeps me alive

I can’t help it

But I look forward to it

I know when it’s about to happen

But I don’t stop it

It’s meant to be,

Let it take its course 

Let it fill my veins

Boil my blood

Engulf me in hate I’ve never felt before

Enrich me with anger like that of The dead

Don’t you see,

This is not my place

Or time

Or space 

This energy doesn’t belong to me

Yet it rushes in my body like flames

It consumes me like hell's fires 

It disfigures my soul

I crave a solace that I can never acquire

I crave peace that I can never attain

I seek knowledge In an infinite attire

Yet all I receive is pain

Don’t you see, I am

Designed for this

I’m meant to feel all this

I’m meant to be your excuse

I’m your void

You toss your problems,

Pain, sadness,

Anger and hate into me

I watch you become happy

Peaceful, joyful and still

Ever so graceful 

In your accomplished will

But you forget,

I have a life;

I’m the same life force as you

But I’m much less important

I’m your platform to happiness

Your stepping stool to success 

I’m nothing but a tool

For your amusement

You really want to take me on?

Go ahead

Walk to your death

Try to stand your ground

Watch me blow you away; the 

Hate of Hades

Anger of Poseidon

Strength of Zeus 

I shall smite you where you stand

For this burden is mine to bear

You dare not approach me

As you seek a resolve

I’m no preacher 

But I’ve got a message

Look deep in to my eyes;

Those fiery furnaces burn red with lies.

M.G.T