“LOST”

This time it’s different

This time there’s no saving me

I’ve come face to face

With the same demons that plague me

The very same ones I run from

I crave that which can’t belong to me

The peace it brings

The solitude

The love

Yet, time and time again

I’m reminded that this is not for me

All I’m left with is melancholy

Pain and hurt

Pain and hurt which transpire

Beyond my heart’s capacity

Beyond what I call home

Beyond me

I’ve wished to be saved

I’ve tried saving myself

But this hole just

Doesn’t stop growing

I’m enveloped by numbness

From my mind to my core

From my heart

To my soul

It’s all been for naught

It’s all been meaningless

A tirade of lies

To deceive me from the most obvious truths

I don’t want to wake up anymore

I don’t want to live with this burden

I’m so tired

I’m so dismayed

My body can’t contain what I feel

My lungs feel like they’re out of air

My guts feel like a knife was pushed thru it

My soul is lost

I give up

I want it to end

I’ve been left

Picking up pieces I didn’t break

And now even the pieces are no where to be found

It’s paralyzing

I can’t think straight

What is this

I deserve it

I deserve pain like no other

I deserve the worst fires of hell

The treacherous flames that consume

Mind and soul

I can’t feel anything anymore

But everything hurts

I don’t know what to do

I really don’t know

I don’t know who I am

I don’t know why I’m here

I don’t know what I’m here for

Or where I should be

I’m so lost

Beyond the confines

Of time and space

Into the darkness devoid of self

Bleed thy heart

For thou is lost a cause

Be filled with rage

And despair of the fallen

Let your soul

Be dipped in to the fires of hell

And your heart reborn, like stone

From the ashes

Let go of love

And accept your fate

A walking void

Amassing hellish desires

And let your mind

Be filled with nothingness

As the darkness demands,

As your soul demands

We forgive

But never forget

We are one with you

Now and forever lost.