FALLEN REALITY

Learning to let go 

Has been difficult beyond recompense.

Understanding this chaotic cycle,

This karma.

Over, and over again,

I am reshaped

By these actions,

Ones perpetrated in my least decisive moments.

The lies I hide behind

Are merely a façade, 

A forced illusion adopted

To keep the truth from coming to life.

In my self conceited desires 

Lay both

My fears,

And weaknesses.

Acknowledging them

Has been no easy task.

Thus, I find myself here once again

In the midst of the turmoil. 

My mind does not cease

In its attempt

To reconstruct reality,

To break free.

Is this what it feels like,

To be eternally amiss?

I regress,

Slowly embracing 

Those abandoned ideals

Of my past.

I fan the embers that linger

Deep in my minds reserves,

And watch 

The great engulfing flame emerge

In a different sense,

I struggle to retain my sanity,

My humanity,

My emotions.

This war,

This madness,

This struggle

Between holding on, and letting go

Is killing me,

Making me numb,

Dissociating the very

Core of my existence.